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User blog:Akira Starfall/What should I even do about this
All of you are probably tired of hearing about it. But stuff like this never gets better. It doesn't. Imagine you lost someone. Take that pain, count all the stars in the universe, and multiply that number by infinity. That's how painful this is. It's like a dragon with iron claws ripped your heart out and scorched it. You remember something funny that happened and you laugh, but then you start crying because that won't ever happen again. My memories of my old school are so vivid that it's almost like I'm reliving them. But I'm not. I want to go back, but then I remember why I left and realize that I CAN'T go back. It won't be the same. I was one of their first students. Shogun was one of their first instructors. I thought we were going to stay there forever. But really, we only built the foundation of the school. It's funny how fast two years goes by. -sigh- I'm torn between my new school and my old one. Who do I even owe allegiance to? I want to go back, as much as I like my new school. But I can't. Too many memories. It would be too painful. That's why I left. Every time I stepped on the mat, I couldn't help but remember everything that had happened since my first class. Every time I saw the practice swords, I couldn't help but think back to the days when me and Shogun would train with the swords, because he knew I was really interested in learning how to use one. Shogun taught me the basics of kendo as well as a little bit of iaido, two Japanese sword martial arts. We actually have the exact same bokken (wooden practice sword). Just . . . it was too many memories. Every little thing reminded me of the way things used to be, and when Shogun told me he was leaving . . . after we moved, resulting in a much longer drive to TKD, the long drive wasn't . . . I'm not going to say it wasn't worth it, because it certainly was. This is the world's best martial arts school we're talking about here. It sure as heck was worth it, and I really wish I could go back. But once Shogun told me he was leaving . . . it didn't make sense to keep going to that school when there was another one that was much easier to get to in terms of traffic. Shogun was the reason I was planning on staying in the first place. I mean, I loved everything about the school, and my students and classmates were the best. And the other instructors were awesome. Just . . . me and Shogun have always been close, and it hurt a lot to say goodbye. I couldn't bear the pain of constantly being reminded of the past. This isn't something you just "get over". I described how painful it was to have to say goodbye to someone like him, but really . . . it's worse than you can imagine. Worse than anyone can imagine. . . . We were like brother and sister. Category:Blog posts